Houston, we have a problem here.

Alright. We're getting closer. But I still can not function correctly.
I have no idea how you managed to get this to happen

You're Settings.php file MUST have a line in for the forums and portal to do
amazing things for you. How you got this far, I do not know.

  Please set $boarddir in Settings.php correctly.

I'm bored :( . All these nibbles and bits and bytes and I'm still hungry.

What a waste of cpu cycles which I'll never get back.